Perfectly imperfect

How did I have it all taken away? What did I do to deserve this? What did my boys do to deserve this? In my own mind I answer the question, "Something bigger will come along". But there was NOTHING bigger then the life of Steven. Nothing better. Nothing. He was everything. He was the life of this household. He was the energy. How did we have it all taken away? How was he robbed of a future he wanted so bad. We had dreams and goals. Look at everything we had at 27!!! A home, 2 kids, desert toys, reliable cars, college degrees, life and love. It was what we wanted and we knew we wanted more. We reached these goal because we made such a good team. We worked well together. We inspired one another and we filled the others flaws. Yea we had our fair share of arguments, it wasn't perfect, but it was perfectly imperfect. He was my life, my other half. He knew my flaws and loved me all the same. He loved me more then I ever appreciated. I still cannot believe he is gone. I still cannot believe our dreams will change. How can I not help but want to find someone new asap when I knew and felt what love was. How could I not want that again?! I want someone to cook and clean for. I want someone to plan our weekends with. I want someone to listen to my bitchy comments and vent to without them judging me. I want my mate, my partner, I want my Steven. I want Steven. I want Steven!