Hard day

Today has been one of the hardest days Ive had in a while. And its only 10am. I miss him horribly today. It hurts so bad. I just miss him! MISS MISS MISS. That seems to be the key word today. In 2 months since being gone, he has missed Jakes first steps, Bryces first day of preschool and Bryces first time reading. I cant believe it. I hate not having my other half to call and share these exciting things with. Someone who would be just as proud as me about the new things our boys are doing. Funny stories and silly antics. Its just me. I laugh and smile and then Im sad because he cant be here to share it with. There are so many milestones ahead that he will miss and it hurts so bad to know that. Sometimes I pray that Steven sends us someone that will love the boys and share in my pride of them. I know so many step parents that love their step children as their own. I pray my boys are lucky enough to have that. I wish more then anything it was their own dad. Wish I could just sleep through today. Praying for strength.