Nothing in life is fair

I have 2 crying, screaming babies. I have a three year old who cries for Daddy when he is in timeout, when times get hard and when he gets in trouble. How is this fair? How is it fair that I get left with the kids WE wanted? "He" being a huge portion of that "WE". I have a 1 year old that clings to my legs and I have NO ONE to hand him off to when I get upset or annoyed or overwhelmed. Yes I have family and friends willing to help. But first off, Im not going to ask for it, because if they haven't offered already, they must be too busy. Secondly, these children are NOT their responsibility. They are Stevens and they are mine. Well, Steven is not here, so they are now just mine. JUST MINE!!! It is not fair. It is not okay that I get to be the sole parent. It is NOT okay that he is not here to help me, support me, back me up. Its  NOT ok!!!!!! Im pist. Im so mad at him that he had to ride that fucking motorcycle and that he had to leave this family that HE wanted and loved so badly. Its not right!!!!! Im so pissed!!!!