Now that you are gone...

- I sleep on your side of the bed. (Closest to the door. Which I hated before because I always felt safer with you between a door and me).

-I use your side of the bathroom sink. Its better to use it then stare at a empty sink across the bathroom that you no longer stand at brushing your teeth, gelling your hair, or checking yourself out in.

-I rarely make a good home cooked meal. Although 6 o clock has become somewhat bearable, I still cant bring myself to cook anything good when I know you're not here to appreciate it.

-I cannot watch Grey's Anatomy like we used to on DVR. I cant watch any medical shows for that matter. Miracles always happen, why couldn't your story have been a miracle story???

-I wear our wedding rings around my neck. Although lately, they seem to be wearing me down but I cant begin to imagine taking them off.

-Your shoes are in the closet right where you lift them, along with your towel hanging the bathroom. I packed up almost everything right after you passed, just so living here would be bearable, but those things have yet to move.

-Our wedding pictures are still hanging over the couch. Will I hang them up when we move? These are the things I battle with in my brain everyday.

-I do the small things around the house I asked you to do. Changing the front porch lightbulb, taking out the trash, getting the ladder to get up into the rafters and get down the Halloween decorations. Things I could have done before, but it was a manlier job and I liked watching you do it. :)

-I haven't made the bed. Im the only one who sees it to care.

-Hana sleeps inside on her dog bed. Feels safer that way.

-Noises freak me the F*&k out!!! They did before, and you never woke up enough to check them, but they seem even louder without you here to "not" check them.

-I miss hearing your air compressor in the garage click on. I miss the smell of your oily dirty work shirts and the smell of you building and welding and sawing metal in the garage at 1am.

-I miss the garage door slamming as you come in and out of the house looking at things on the computer and then going in the garage and fixing them.

-I've had to tell Bryce everyday that you are in Heaven. Kills me

-I look forward to the day I join you again