I cant help but wonder what you would think about the way things have turned out. I cant help but think about how you would feel about the people that have stayed in our lives and the ones that have drifted away. Those that never call because their struggle of you being gone is all to real if they contact me. (Try living it each and every day). I cant help but think about how sad you would be with somes lack of communication and how proud you must be with others. I know how you would feel, I know what you would say and I know how disipointed you would be.
The boys and I are hanging in there. Making the best out of what we have. We havent stopped living, although I have had countless moments where I feel like I could. We havent stopped moving because thats not what you would have wanted. You would have wanted us to keep going, move forward, live life, and be happy. Im getting there. Slowly, but I am. I know exactly what you would have wanted from us, I think it would just be easier to hear it from you directly, instead of second guessing myself.
You were ready. You had once told me that you didnt fear death, when at the time, it was my greatest fear. You said, "When its my time, its my time." You shrugged it off as if it were nothing. You wernt scared. I know you died with no regrets, no enemies and no fears. I am so honored to have been your wife, I hope you are as proud of me as I am of you. I continue to live to raise our boys that you so badly wanted to bring into this world. Remind me you are with me. Please. xoxo
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