Worst night ever...woke up healed

Dropped the boys off at my moms last night. Expecting to go see a movie and have some drinks with a friend when I literally lost it. Second my car door shut and the kids were gone, broke and I broke hard. The tears feel my enitre drive home. Got home, started cleaning, all the while, talking, drinking some wine, and hysterically crying. Id say I looked like a freak, but at the the same time, I was mad, angry, pissed, hurt, sad, dying inside. Hes not coming home. That reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Its coming up to his 6 month aniversary and I could curl up and die. I just want to die.